Showing Up·5 MIN
What to say when a friend tells you they have been diagnosed with something serious
The five words that always work, the two questions to ask after, and what to send once the call ends
CARE
Showing up when a friend wins, loses, or disappears
The three hardest moments to know what to do, and the exact words for each.
Coverage from Showing Up and The Caregiver's Notebook.
In this hub
The Caregiver's Notebook·5 MIN
When a friend's parent dies — the first text, the follow-up, the six-month check-in
The exact words for the first text, the funeral, the awful Wednesday six months later — and the calendar trick that saves you
Showing Up·5 MIN
How to show up for a friend going through a divorce
The one question to ask, what to volunteer without being asked, and the well-meaning sentences you need to stop saying
Showing Up·5 MIN
The friend whose kid is struggling — what to say and what not to say
The listening posture, the sentences that actually help, and the one instinct you have to fight when your friend's child is in trouble
Showing Up·5 MIN
How to congratulate a friend on a win you feel envious of
The exact words to say when your friend's good news lands like a small punch, and why honesty is the only real congratulations
Showing Up·5 MIN
When a friend cancels for the third time — what to do, and what it means
The one honest text to send, the interpretation you need to reject, and how to tell when it's time to stop initiating
Showing Up·5 MIN
When a friend disappears for a month
Three reasons a friend goes quiet, the one message that works for all of them, and how to hold steady while you wait
The Caregiver's Notebook·5 MIN
The friend caring for a parent — what actually helps them
Skip 'let me know if I can help.' Here's what to say and do during the three hardest moments of a caregiving friendship
Showing Up·5 MIN
When a friend is grieving something the world does not recognize as loss
When your friend loses a pet, a pregnancy, a job, or a plan — the exact words to say and what to send that week
Showing Up·5 MIN
How to attend a wake, a shiva, or a funeral you did not know the deceased at
Three sentences to have ready, what to wear when you're not sure, and how to leave without making it about you
Modern Etiquette·5 MIN
What to bring to a bereavement, when food is the wrong answer
Three quiet options for the friend whose fridge is already full — and the short, honest note that goes with each of them
Showing Up·5 MIN
When a friend's marriage is quietly ending
What to notice, what to name, and what not to volunteer when your friend's marriage is coming apart in slow motion
Showing Up·5 MIN
How to be the person a friend calls when they are spiraling
The posture that steadies a spiraling friend, the sentence that lands, and the well-meaning moves that make it worse
Showing Up·5 MIN
The friend whose parent is dying slowly — the twelve-month script
A monthly cadence, the practical support that actually lands, and the exact words to say when the phone finally rings
Showing Up·5 MIN
When you are the person who has to say the hard thing
The four-sentence structure for delivering difficult news to a friend — and how to stay in the room after the words land
Showing Up·5 MIN
When the person you are grieving is your friend
Friend-grief is a double loss — the person, and the community that only made sense with them in it. Here is what to say